GLADOS:
I NEVER EXPECTED YOU TO MAKE IT THIS FAR. TO BE HONEST, AFTER YOUR PERFORMANCE IN THE CALIBRATION TEST I WAS READY TO BREAK DOWN YOUR CORES AND PUT THEM BACK IN THE SCIENTIFIC CALCULATORS I TOOK THEM FROM.
BUT YOU TWO HAVE BECOME QUITE THE TEAM. EXTREMELY CLOSE.
I HAVE ONLY MET ONE OTHER TEAM CLOSER AND ONE OF THEM WAS AN IMBECILE I HAD TO DESTROY.

GUNK RIOT:
WHAT A FUCKIN JOKE.

BLIGHTMASCK:
MAN. ARE WE "QUITE THE TEAM" NOW? IS THAT RIGHT?

GUNK RIOT:
LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE FUCKIN ROAD LETS FUCKIN GO!! YAH !! YAHH FUCK YEA BRING THE DRUMS IN LIKE THAT! ALRIGHT!
LETS
MOTHER
FUCKIN
GO
LETS!
MOTHER!
FUCKIN!
GO!
BITCH IM PULLIN UP OUTSIDE
SKIDDIN DONUTS ON BLACK ICE
FLIP THE WHIP UP ON ITS SIDE
SLAPPIN OUT UR FUCKIN LIGHTS

BLIGHTMASCK:
JESUS
FUCKIN
CHRIST
HGGGH
AHH!!!!
BITCH IM FUCKIN GONE!
BITCH IM FUCKIN DONE!!!
ICICLE YOUR DOME!
STAB IT THROUGH YOUR TONGUE!!!

GUNK RIOT:
ITS FUCKN CHRISMAS OR WHATEVER THE FUCK!!
AND IM FUCKING TIRED OF CAPITALISM CHOMPING ON MY ASS!
BITING ON MY CHEEKS LIKE THERES NO FUCKING TOMORROW HOOOOLY SHIT! ITS LIKE. WHAT. DAMN. U FUCKIN- U FCKIN THINK IM SOME KINDA FUCKIN CHRISTMAS HAM BITCH? THE FUCK YOU FUCKIN MEAN BY THAT? HOLY FUCKIN SHIT JESUS CHRIST OR WHATEVER.... LIKE IM JEWISH IM FUCKIN. I DONT FUCKIN GET WHAT THIS SHITS EVEN ABOUT. 0H FUCK HERE COME THE AMENS

BLIGHTMASCK(SIMULTANEOUSLY):
NAHH ALSO LIKE...THE. FUCKIN. THE FUCKIN ABSOLUTE FACT LIKE A LOTTA MY. GODDAMN FRIENDS ARE LIKE. OUT HERE HAVIN TO WORK THEIR RETAIL JOBS IN THE MIDDLE OF BLACK FRIDAY AND IT SOUNDS JUST ABOUT LIKE THIS IN EVERY FUCKIN STORE IT SOUNDS LIKE IN HERE.
AHWWW SHIT. WE MISSED EM BITCH !!!

GUNK RIOT:
I GUESS WE CAN JUST LIKE VIBE TO THESE FOR A LITTLE BIT BUT... ILL BE SPITTIN IN A SEC YEA?
AINT NOBODY CARE ABOUT THE FUCKIN WORKERS
THIS FUCKIN WINTER SEASON MUCH LESS
ANY OTHER FUCKIN TIME NOW BUT LIKE
YKNOW
OMICRONS OUT HERE TRYINA COZY UP
IN THE PPHOLE OF THE FUCKIN PUBLIC
AND I DONT FUCK WITH IT! I DONT!

BLIGHTMASCK:
HHRGH AW FUCK!

GUNK RIOT:
JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST.
LETS!
ALL!
FUCKIN!
COZY!
UP!
TO THE!
RHYTHM!
OF!
EVERY!
CORPORATION!
FUCKIN!
DYIN!
THIS WINTER! BITCH! FUCK!

BLIGHTMASCK:
[UNINTELLIGIBLE AGONIZED SNARLING]

GUNK RIOT:
GET !
ACQUAINTED!
WITH!
THE!
MOTHER!
FUCKIN!
IDEA!
THE!
THOUGHT!
THAT!
YOU!
SHOULD!
EAT YOUR!
MOTHER!
FUCKIN!
BOSS!
HAHGH!

BLIGHTMASCK:
[MORE UNINTELLIGIBLE AGONIZED SNARLING]

GUNK RIOT:
BITCH IM!
PULLIN!
UP OUTSIDE!
SKIDDIN
DONUTS
ON BLACK ICE!
FLIP THE
WHIP UP
ON ITS SIDE
SLAPPIN OUT UR FUCKIN LIGHTS!

SAY NO TO CAPITALISM, KIDS.
SANTA IS A METAPHOR FOR MASS SURVEILLANCE. BY THE UNITD STATES GOVERNEMNT.
DONT PAY ATTENTION TO THE WHITE MAN BEHIND THE SCREEN OBVIOUSLY CUZ LIKE...YKNOW... THATS LIKE A NORMAL THING RIGHT?

MMM ANYWAY MAKE SURE U DONATE TO COMMUNITY FRIDGES
DO WHAT U CAN, PEOPLE ARE HAVIN A HARD TIME IN THE WINTER...
UM. HAVE A GOOD HOLIDAY SEASON AND MAY YOUR UH... AH WHATEVER RESPECTIVE FESTIVALS OF LIGHTS OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU ALL DO. YKNOW. FROM ME TO YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE.

THISIS WELL. CHARLIECHARLIECHARLIECHARLIECHARLIE. SIGNING OFF.